


deep breathing

by ailiyasneski



Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, curt has a panic attack, light fluff, owen is a good boyfriend, spies are forever - Freeform, tin can brothers - Freeform, very very light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 00:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19415059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailiyasneski/pseuds/ailiyasneski
Summary: something about it...it was just too loud. blaring in his head, like a drill to cement. it slowly filled his senses, leaving curt with nothing to hear but owen, owen, owen.





	deep breathing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saf discord for being my rocks](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=saf+discord+for+being+my+rocks).



> what do i do after a first thing in the morning anxiety attack? rewrite the whole thing into an otp
> 
> i need better coping skills. 
> 
> anyway, enjoy!

it was early in the morning when curt awoke. 

the scene around him was the same as always- the window above the hotel bed deeper light into the rest of the room, making the dusted gray walls a painted memory of the vibrant color they once were. the air was cool, making chills dance along curt exposed legs. a weight was on curt’s chest, but he didn’t open his eyes. he knew it was just one of owen’s arms. it was nice, having this again. owen and him in bed together, waking up and starting off the days they way they were supposed to. 

he could hear owen’s soft snores close to his ear. not that it bothered curt- it reminded him that his owen was still alive. he didn’t kill him back at the compound, and they were just living on the run. better than nothing, he supposed. curt lazily drew his arm up, wrapping his fingers loosely around his partner’s forearm. owen gave a small huff, shifting closer to curt, his breathing suddenly directly next to his ear. 

again, this didn’t mind curt. it was a constant reminder that owen was alive. that we was okay. that he could betray him. not that he would of course, otherwise he would’ve done it by now. they’d been on the run for, what, three months now? owen would’ve killed him at any chance he’d gotten (and he’d gotten a lot). but if the steady rhythm of owen’s breathing was calming curt then, it wasn’t now. something about it...it was just too loud. blaring in his head, like a drill to cement. it slowly filled his senses, leaving curt with nothing to hear but owen, owen, owen. everything built up on top of curt, and suddenly that grounding arm across his chest was suffocating. it held his chest down like a boulder, crushing his lungs until they gave out. all curt could do was silently hold whatever breath he had left and hope the attack would quickly pass.

he was able to still move his limbs, wiggling a toe to check if he was passing on or not. and praise god, he was still alive. he was, however, trapped inside his body, unable to scream out to owen something was wrong. curt finally gulped in a small breath, and closed his eyes tightly. he couldn’t even cry, though he desperately needed it. 

curt just prayed for it to be all over. 

it was at this point (or hours later from this point- it sure felt like it) that owen’s breathing faltered, then started up, alerting curt that he was awake. it took all of curt’s strength to tap a finger furiously on owen’s forearm, hopefully it being enough to rush owen out of his sleepy state to help. it wasn’t enough. owen sighed deeply, seeming trying to fall back asleep. curt screamed in his head. he kept tapping and tapping and tapping until his finger felt like it would snap. at this point, the attack felt like it was reaching its peak, curt’s body shaking vigorously and his mind thinking of everything and nothing at once. chaos in the calm, owen always referred the feeling as. like drowning in a pool of air. 

owen shifted, moving his arm off of curt’s chest, and it was a relief and a curse. curt could breathe, but it was in sporadic bursts rather than deep gulps. 

“hey-“ owen whispered, and curt assume she could see what was going on. his eyes were still glued shut, so owen must’ve thought it was a nightmare again. 

“i know,” curt rasped, using whatever sliver of energy he had to let his partner know he was awake. 

owen didn’t say anything, instead shifting back, throwing an arm loosely over curt’s waist, to which curt grabbed onto his hand and gripped it like there wasn’t a tomorrow. 

after what seemed like hours, curt finally got a hold of his breathing, slowing it to a couple long deep breaths a minute. it wasn’t perfect, but it was better than not having any air at all. owen didn’t say a word, instead turning curt to his chest, shielding his eyes from the sun that had more prominently made itself known in the room. curt always appreciated the fact that owen never said anything- acknowledgment made things real, and they both knew that was the last thing curt wanted to deal with. he was okay with owen just holding him. 

curt took a moment to compose himself better before choking out a small “m’sorry about the thin’” to which owen replied a soothing “don’t worry about it.” 

eventually, curt drifted off to the sound of owen’s steadied breathing.


End file.
